Everything Considered: The Perils of Facebook

[Alan]

 Be Aware, very aware.  Facebook is not free. You will not get a bill, nor will it affect your credit rating, and yet it may very well cost you everything you hold dear.

 

Sure we all know about the bigamist who posted his wedding pictures with wife "X" on Facebook or the numerous dissatisfied employees who have posted their laments on Facebook, and wondered why they were fired (f.y.i., privacy settings are your friends). But the hidden cost of Facebook, or more specifically giving your opinion, solicited or not, is that you never know who you may offend. I noticed during the election cycle, when I posted some progressive flavored posts, that I lost a few "friends". Better stated, they were acquaintances, but still they chose to drop me. Certainly, I could apply my own value system to their behavior and say that I would never drop anyone for a political opinion, but that would be to miss the point here.  Although, the Good Book says to treat others as you would treat yourself, I have found that sometimes you have to treat people in the manner in which they want to be treated, even if it's beyond what you would ask for, if you want to keep that relationship.

 

Case in point, some years ago before this Facebook thing blew up, I was an active poster on another site (TJMS). It was as site where visitors used an anonymous userids, so to say the least, some of the folks there could be downright cruel to one another.  But some of us played nice and were very civil.  However, one day someone posted something about how children raised in two parent households, in general, had better outcomes than those raised in single parent homes. I agreed with the poster and one of my "friends", with whom I had developed some level of coolness with, went off on the post and my reply. She was a single mother trying to raise her son as best she could, and she took great offense to our comments.  I let her know that I too was raised in such a situation and me and my siblings turned out just fine, but it was very apparent to me, looking at society play out around me every day, that kids from homes with both parents present and fully engaged tended to fare better than when they weren't. But my friend, who wasn't having it, took it as a commendation of her child's future. I wasn't hostile or rude at all, but still I lost a buddy that day.

 

Now some of you will say "so what?" And I understand that, but what if the person you offended was someone you really care about, a real friend outside of this virtual world? What if you're like me and you have 1,000 friends plus between Facebook and other social media sites and you enjoy casting your seeds into the wind to share a part of your heart or to seek discussion in an effort to learn a little more in the time that this life offers? What if you state an opinion or position that unwittingly hurts someone you care for (and perhaps you don't even know exactly which post or which statement was the deal breaker)?  See now, that's when it gets real.

 

My skin is reasonable thick, but I must confess such events leave me wondering. When speaking with someone one on one, if it's someone you know, it's accepted that you will be sensitive in how you speak to them and what you speak about.   But in social media, you're speaking to all of your connections at once, and you don't know what the vast majority of them may be going through at any given time. Sure you can avoid posting on certain sensitive subjects such as religion and abortion, but regardless, if you post often enough, you're going to upset someone, and eventually one day, it will be someone you really care about, and you'll remember this day when I told you of the real cost of Facebook.

 

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